Things People in Hawaii Generally Don’t Have to Worry About

Sometimes I’m reminded just how lucky I am to live on a beautiful tropical rock in the middle of the ocean. That time is now.

#1 Snow

Yes, there is snow in Hawaii. The summit of a couple of Hawaii’s tallest volcanoes receive snow, some of which you can actually ski on (how killer is that?!), but no one lives up there, so it’s not like you have to shovel your way off a volcano to get to work every morning. In Hawaii, snow = no.

#2 Socks

Unless you’re working out, have an unsightly foot disease, are following a strict work dress code or are en route to the cold summit of one of the aforementioned volcanoes, socks are a fairly ridiculous thing to wear in Hawaii. It’s hot, it’s humid, and there are a billion grains of sand begging to become a new part of your anatomy. Leave those nonsense foot prisons at home.

#3 An Insane Amount of Sweat

Perhaps spending the first 25 years of my life in Texas makes me appreciate this more, but the highest temperature ever recorded in Hawaii is 100 degrees. That is hot, I agree. However, I once spent a horrid summer in Austin with 90 days of 100+ degree weather, and let me tell you, your body becomes a living, breathing, miserable, inescapable sweat machine. No thank you.

And I know what you’re going to say – the humidity in Hawaii makes it way worse. Again, I agree. Does Hawaii have mosquitoes? Absolutely. However, the great thing about 100 degrees in Hawaii is that there is a ginormous, refreshing ocean surrounding you at all times! 86’ing the sweat has never been so simple. Also, on Maui, there is a glorious thing called Upcountry, where low-elevation residents can flock upwards to enjoy wondrous things like cool breezes at any given time.

#4 Super Formal Wear

The occasional wedding, party, night on the town in Waikiki, or benefit may call for some type of formal wear, but all in all, super formal wear – I’m talking tuxedos and ball gowns – are an utter waste of closet space. I’ve never spent so much time being barefoot in my life as I have living on Maui. I take off my shoes everywhere – as soon as I step in my apartment, my office, even my dentist’s office. Okay, one of those is a lie. I hate the dentist. But the point is, there is rarely an occasion that requires formality beyond a snazzy button-down aloha shirt.

#5 Deadly Animals & Insects

Sure, the occasional shark gets confused and mistakenly bites into a disappointing-tasting human every now and then. However, your chances of getting bitten by a shark are still extremely slim. Sharks are the most dangerous animals in all oceans. It’s the falling coconuts and sunscreen tornadoes you really need to worry about.

To put it in perspective, Hawaii has no bears, crocodiles, hippos, leopards, komodo dragons, hyenas, lions, tigers, poisonous dart frogs, rhinos, etc. Does Hawaii have snakes? Nope! That doesn’t mean we’re traipsing around wearing invisible nature armor, but it generally means that the most painful thing we’re likely to encounter on a daily basis is a kiawe thorn.

As always, mahalo for reading, and happy freezing/sock-wearing/sweating/formal-wearing/animal-avoiding!